I'm not usually one of those people that obsessively blogs every single day. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure that I have enough to talk about to manage blogging every day. But lately, I've had so much on my mind that I could write about four blogs a day. The sad part is, I have no time to write any of them.
I'm sitting here in my sweaty, smelly band clothes, blogging about randomness when I should really be doing my stats homework that's due tomorrow. But I hear that my teacher only grades for completion, so if I make a bunch of bullshit, I'm sure that it'll turn out okay. The only thing is, I really want to keep up my grade point average this year. I told my parents I'm going to graduate college with honours. I know I can do it. I just have to try.
But... Trying is just so hard, you know? XD
I mean, I just haven't made time for myself to do my homework. I still have some workbook pages to do for theory, too. I'm hoping that's all I have to do... But I sure as hell haven't practised piano, either. And now I'm picking up percussion on top of that... I have 20 credit hours, now. Proud of me? Yeah. I wouldn't be, either. It's a shitton of stuff.
I'm just glad that I'm finally getting my overall percussion lessons. I've wanted to learn snare for the longest, longest time; Elliott was supposed to teach me a while back, but he never did. And Paul is supposed to help me along the lines. We just have to find time to get together and do some drumming.
Good thing is, I'm not getting the lessons from Dr. Snider. Which is good, because that dude scares me. Legitimately.
I'm getting lessons from someone else; I hope he's good at marimba, because that's what I originally wanted. And I'm so, so excited to start. I just have to add the class to my schedule and pay a hundred some dollars for equipment use and whatnot. That'll get done tomorrow, at the same time I go to pick up my package from DocuZip! [:
So, speaking of drums, I just found out that my friend Paul, who is pretty much my best guy friend here at Akron, just got kicked off the cymbal line by someone else who just joined marching band today. I guess he didn't exactly get kicked off, but he has some other kid taking his spot for at least the first game. He's unsure when he's going to get to march again, and I kind of feel bad for him. I just hope he'll get to march sometime soon.
Anyway.
I spent two hours in Paul and Mike's room, talking to them about pretty much everything. Everything from what Mike should do about Caroline to my past relationships involving girls and everything like that. It was actually really weird. We just jumped from subject to subject and talked about everything under the sun.
And I realised that Paul and I do really have a musical bond--we both like stuff from the 80's, which is fucking sweet. And I think we're going to do a radio show together. I'm going to go to Kolbe Hall tomorrow and pick up my application to work in the station. I guess he already has people giving him bids on getting on their show, but he says he wants to do one with me, which would be pretty sweet. But that would also mean devoting another 10 hours a week to the station, and dropping percussion lessons.
I'm so unsure of what I want to do right now, and this whole liking boys who can't possibly like me back is really starting to get to me.
I'm jealous of the people I see walking around campus and holding hands. I want that. Whether it be boy or girl. I want to fall in love, for real. I'm done being hurt, and I'm done sulking, and I'm done wallowing away in my self pity. I'm ready to put myself out there. I'm ready to fall for someone, to be with someone for a while. I just have to find someone who isn't taken. That would help me so much.
Blargh. What am I going to do with myself? /shot
